In a Substack note yesterday, I shared a photo of my large “work” monitor looming behind my bright, sunny, smaller “home” monitor. In that post, I yammered on about how much I enjoy moving my small monitor in front of my large screen because that means it’s time to relax, create, not watch the clock, and, finally, do what I want to do. It’s how I fix what’s wrong with my 5-day work week: No creativity. No fun. No coloring. No non-technical reading or writing. All business. Politics galore.
That weekly monitor shuffle describes and illustrates my entire work life. I went to university to teach elementary school. Then I got married, had a beautiful baby, and divorced before she left Pre-K. Raising my daughter on a teacher’s salary was out of the question. So, I started applying for higher-paying jobs. I applied for and was offered a marketing position. I was thrilled. It sounded fun! It wasn’t. The role was in a very technical field, and fun wasn’t part of the job description. In fact, the work was very prescriptive. I am Gen X, so we were taught/learned/heard that you don’t change professions or jobs unless things are bad. Really bad.
So, I stuck with it, and twenty-plus years later I’m still in the industry. I was promoted to Vice President, so there’s that. I am proud of this accomplishment, given I had no degree or formal education in this field (I would argue elementary education was perfect training, but that’s another post). What I do have is no work-life balance; I’m a workaholic; I rarely leave the house; coffee is my favorite food; headaches are a way of life; and I am on conference calls for work way more than I talk with my family.
Very shortly after that promotion to VP, I decided it was time to “fix” things. For all the reasons I just listed plus more, I had had it. So, what did I do to fix it? I reached out to colleagues who knew me professionally and said:
“I don’t want a fancy title; I don’t want to manage people; I just want to do my work and go home.”
Seemed reasonable. And, well, that is exactly what I got. Sort of.
For several years now, I have worked at a firm where many people still do not know my name, let alone my capabilities or experience. People, most half my age, teach me skills in areas I used to lead. And, once they see I can do the work, they pile more responsibilities on me than I had as a VP. So, did I fix things? Nope. Do I look forward to weekends and moving that smaller home monitor in front of my ridiculously large work monitor so I can do all the creative, fun, delightful, life-saving activities I love? More. than. ever.
So, what’s my next big idea to fix my work situation? Convince my husband to fund my existence for two, maybe seven, years (until I retire) so I can work full-time on my magazine. I think it’s my best idea yet. He doesn’t think so…